35 weeks 1 day..

So I went to the doctor today to have my STREP B test..she said I am 80% effaced and 1 1/2 cm dialated and very soft and she also said she could feel the baby's head! Soooo I'm not getting too anxious because I still have quite a ways to go and HELLO I am SOOOOO NOT READY for this baby to come!!! I need AT LEAST 3 more weeks! I'm really not reading too much into this but it kinda caught me off guard I haven't thought about really HAVING the baby I just figured June is still a month away...so ??? we'll see I go back in in a week and 1/2 so we'll see:)

32 weeks..getting bigger and bigger

HOW BIG IS THIS BABY GOING TO BE!?? I'm only 32 weeks and I swear my belly CANNOT get any bigger..I think I just jinxed myself I'm going to get huge and have a zillion stretch marks! So we STILL don't have a name for this cute little girl inside of me and I kind of feel guilty! Like with Abby we just knew but I keep going back and forth between London and Kendall and certain days I like certain names and as for middle names..NO CLUE!!!! Everyone keeps telling me when you see her you will know..uh how can that be?? I am going to think she's cute and love her but really am I going to know the second I meet her for the 1st time what her name is? I have doubts but what do ya do?!! So I had to leave church an hour early yesterday I was SO uncomfortable!! I felt so guilty but I honestly felt like I saw crushing things when I sat down and I was SO HOT! Lame especially on Easter but Cory understood and brought Abby home after it was over..sweet hubby! LOVE HIM! Oh and I have now hit my DEPRESSION/EMOTIONAL/CRAZY stage of pregnancy where I cry and laugh at the same time! Saturday was the WORST I couldn't stop bawling over everything! I did have some things going on worth crying over but it went on the WHOLE day..my poor husband is so patient but I think he had had it with me! I really will need some meds if I feel like this after I'm prego!!! Don't worry I woke up this morning with the WORST cough! Like it is so DEEP and it makes me throw up..NOT FUN! I can't figure out why because I was just sick last week!? This is when the flu shot should start working right?? I keep have these urges to complain on this post but I'm not going to I know things are hard for everyone right now and they could be a lot worse for us..I'm so thankful that I have a hard working husband and that we have our blind business to suplament our income. Everyone that I have been prego with are having their babies and it honestly makes me SO NERVOUS! Having a newborn is SO hard and I am terrified of what Abby is going to do..she is going to hate me and the baby and I know she's going to act out to get attention I just hope I'm WRONG!!! I will just have to make it a point to get out a lot this summer and keep the toddler busy and being in the sunshine should help me as well. Ok so I think that's about it but my doc did say she would enduce me the 1st week of JUNE!! So really it's like I'm 33 weeks along:)

25 weeks...ONLY!

So I feel like wow I've been prego FOREVER now but it's gone by much faster and smoother this time FOR SURE! I feel good and I only throw up if I eat too much brownie batter or too much citrus stuff like oranges and juice! Heartburn SUCKS and it gets pretty bad just about every night but that's normal I guess. This baby is sitting sooo LOW! Seriously yesterday I felt like everything from my waist down was bruised because she just sits right on my nerves and somedays I think she could fall out! I went and did a mist on tan the other day (makes me feel sooo much better btw) and the owner of the salon was like WOW you are so big for being 24 weeks..are you sure you aren't having a boy!? You are showing so much...hahaha she wouldn't stop! Hahaha..luckily this lady was so ugly and wrinkley i didn't care but THANKS I don't need to be reminded how fat I'm getting!! I've tried to eat a lot healthier this pregnancy because I realize how hard it was to loose after and I do want to fit into summer clothes and not feel like a huge whale. I love that everyone tells me "pregnancy is one time in your life you can be fat and have a good excuse"!!! I NEVER want to be fat and thanks but a big belly is bad enough I don't need a big butt, & a huge face too. I am at an okay part of pregnancy..I'm not so sick of it that I hate waking up in the morning and I can still bend over to tie my shoes but I know these next few weeks are going to be fun wwith the baby growing and me getting bigger than ever. I go in for my glucose test not this week but next..so fun! I am delivering at Alta View and I am so nervous I still think that hospital is old and ghetto and dirty..I can't picture walking into that hospital and thinking wow this is a clean place. I'm just paranoid like I've heard the rooms are small and ugh I just love new nice things..when I go on vacation I like to stay somewhere that is nicer than my house and here I am having a BABY in a hospital that is ancient. I hope I'm wrong and I really need to have a good attitude because I loooove my doctor!! Oh she will enduce me the 1st week of June if I haven't had her yet. Oh NOOO placenta previa!! YAY..it moved enought I will not have to have a c-section!! That's all I need is more healing time especially with busy head Abby.. we don't know what to name this one!!!! I like London and Cory like Kendall!!! I like kendall but I'm not in love with it I just don't want a boy name...I like feminine names for girls..we'll see!!! Okay enough negative..I need to get out right now and find some maternity clothes I'm growing out of all my shirts:(

SHE WILL BE WORTH IT..20 weeks

IT IS A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sooo..this past week I have had stomach flu..BAD!! So bad that while I was standing in line getting ready to pay @ the grocery store somebody smelled like smoke in back of me so I totally threw up in my purse!! HORRIBLE!! I felt like Lynette on Desperate Housewives when she was going through kemo and she was at her sons recital. HAHA....I had just eaten a red vine and yeah it totally looked like I was throwing up blood. I couldn't get out of the store fast enough so right in the enterance there is more throw up. I'm feeling much better but Monday was my doctor appointment and I had my 20 week ultrasound and the baby is looking really good, she is growing and she is such a tired head..she wouldn't wake up and turn around so the doctor could look at her heart but she finally did and they said everything looks normal except that my placenta is low and it is still covering my cervix. So they are doing another ultrasound in 4 weeks and HOPEFULLY it will be moved up or it could be PLACENTA PREVIA!! Scaaaary...I shouldn't have but I read online and it can totally stop the baby from growing and I'll def have to have a c-section and it can cause heavy bleeding. I had very light spotting last week 1 day and that scared me especially knowing what I know now...I've had light cramping so I've tried to take it easy and stop excersizing just until I know for sure that everything is okay.
It is pretty scary but ???? all I can do is hope, pray, & fast and hope that it moves up. I'm getting more excited for this little one!!! I went and bought matching ladybug dresses for her and Abby!! I'm excited to have my 2 girls but I am so scared at the same time. I seem sooo busy with 1 child and newborns are even more time consuming. It will be worth it!!!

I have to post this before my appointment today..in 2 hours!!!! I am sooo nervous to find out what I'm having..I don't know WHY!?? I just honestly don't know what this baby is..I've had thoughts that it's a girl but that's all I know so I think that's why I think it's a girl. I'm kinda nervous for a boy..I don't know what to do with a boy?!! Then I'm TERRIFIED if it's a girl because WOW how will I handle 2 GIRLS?! DRAMAAAAAAA! I guess we'll find out..I'll be excited either way I know it will help me better bond with the baby too. Oh so this pregnancy my eyes and my face are SOO SENSITIVE! Estee Lauder makeup makes my skin go bright red and it burns so bad..obviously I am allergic to it! Too bad I don't have tons of money lying around or I would get out and buy the Trish McIvoy planner and foundation fully loaded:) Hmm..I also cannot eat cereal or oranges!! Everytime I do I throw them right up. Abby still doesn't like dolls so I hope she doesn't hate this baby. I'm excited for her to have a sibling..she NEEDS one! That girl gets busier and busier and more out of control everyday..the MELTDOWNS are sooo bad right now. Anyways I need to clean up and get ready. WISH ME LUCK?!

BORED BEING PREGO!???

Okay..this sounds weird but I am BORED with being PREGO!!! Last time it was like every week I would read and find out how big the baby was and I was so excited the bigger I got and every week I felt like I was closer to having the babe...this time I'm just kind of done with the whole prego thing.. been there done that. Oh that is so horrible to say but REALLY do we really have to get so fat and do they really have to grow for 9..10 whole months!?? Ugh..I need that time to get ready but I don't know I just have mixed feelings this time. I need to stay positive...I am getting really good at throwing up and I still don't know what triggers it I just have the most SENSITIVE reflexes!!!!! I was brushing my teeth a few days ago and out of NO WHERE I started throwing up right in the sink..I don't know WHY?! It was great..I just want to know what I am having!!!! I really will be so excited either way but I am just SO ready to know!!!! I'm also getting more energy but I'm loosing my mind!!! I CANT find my dang camera and I seriously haven't taken it anywhere it has to be somewhere in my house! I have looked and looked and looked and yeah no where!! We'll find it...anyways what else can I complain about?!! Oh Abby woke up screaming my name after she'd only taken an hour nap and I go in to find her pants slipped off and her diaper was off and she had PEED all over!! I thought I had a onsie on her but yeah ...somebody needs to make belts for kids!! This girl has the skinniest legs like her dad and her pants come right off. It was so fun cleaning it up I gagged about 5 times and luckily I didn't throw up. Oh on a positive note we watched the Grinch today and she liked it!! Well like 20 minutes and then she was busy doing something else but it's times like that I just realize I love my little partner in crime soooo MUCH! I really can't think of a better job than being a mommy! It is WAAAY harder than working but I love it. ENOUGH..these posts are getting worse every time..it's usually me just going on and on..

NEGATIVE NED..

So I realized yesterday I am still in DENIAL that I am prego..I totally feel fat and huge already but it hasn't hit me that I will soon have 2 KIDS!!!! I see people with 2 kids that are close in age and it's never a pleasant experience..one of them is always screaming and the mom looks worn out!! I already am going through the depression stage which for me last time didn't hit until 6 months..I feel ugly and I don't want to even go out in public because I feel like no matter how much makeup I wear my clothes still look horrible and I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. I always feel like my house isn't clean enough and I get so much more frustrated when Abby pulls everything out and gets into things..I HATE this feeling!! Poor Cory doesn't know what to do when I have my meltdowns:( he is still soooo patient and I love him so much for being so loving and supportive even when I have my crazy days. I just hope these months go by FAST and at the same time I don't feel ready AT ALL for this babe. I don't know WHERE we are going to put our desk and it's not small I have filing cabinets and the fax machine, printer, books and files and storage drawers and yeah it's all stuff we need for our business!!! UGH..what do ya do?? We'll figure it out but I want to have the baby's room ready before he/she comes..I don't like keeping them in our room for too long I can NEVER sleep. Oh and this DANG window in here has an arch and the sun comes right in in the morning so I need to eventually put shutters on the front windows..ADD IT TO THE LIST!! This is a negative post (SORRY) 3 positive things...
1. I'm not as nauseated as often!
2. I have WAAAAY more energy..
3. Abby is getting sooo independant