NEGATIVE NED..

So I realized yesterday I am still in DENIAL that I am prego..I totally feel fat and huge already but it hasn't hit me that I will soon have 2 KIDS!!!! I see people with 2 kids that are close in age and it's never a pleasant experience..one of them is always screaming and the mom looks worn out!! I already am going through the depression stage which for me last time didn't hit until 6 months..I feel ugly and I don't want to even go out in public because I feel like no matter how much makeup I wear my clothes still look horrible and I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. I always feel like my house isn't clean enough and I get so much more frustrated when Abby pulls everything out and gets into things..I HATE this feeling!! Poor Cory doesn't know what to do when I have my meltdowns:( he is still soooo patient and I love him so much for being so loving and supportive even when I have my crazy days. I just hope these months go by FAST and at the same time I don't feel ready AT ALL for this babe. I don't know WHERE we are going to put our desk and it's not small I have filing cabinets and the fax machine, printer, books and files and storage drawers and yeah it's all stuff we need for our business!!! UGH..what do ya do?? We'll figure it out but I want to have the baby's room ready before he/she comes..I don't like keeping them in our room for too long I can NEVER sleep. Oh and this DANG window in here has an arch and the sun comes right in in the morning so I need to eventually put shutters on the front windows..ADD IT TO THE LIST!! This is a negative post (SORRY) 3 positive things...
1. I'm not as nauseated as often!
2. I have WAAAAY more energy..
3. Abby is getting sooo independant